Ugh

With the economic state the country is in right now I know I should be focusing on what I have instead of what I don't. But our financial situation sucks right now because Jim has been laid off for the season and the unemployment office is telling him there's a 5 week back-log on paperwork. Which means he won't get a check until the first of the year. Which means we are living off of my income only right now and I have no idea what we are going to do about Christmas this year for Lilly. Right now I'm knitting a doll for her and she's also asked me to knit a pair of socks for her but the hopes I had of buying her a 'big-girl' bed and moving her into the larger bedroom for Christmas...well it doesn't look good.

Jim and I got into a stupid fight about it last night because I'm so tired of going through this every December. I want him to get a job that offers more stability and he tells me he likes his job. Even though he griped about it all summer. I feel like he's wasting his potential and he's mad that I'm mad....and it's all just so stupid. He's right, it's not like he can really go out and get a job right now when every place just seems to be laying people off. At least my job has stability, since I carry all the health and life insurance. But being the only source of income in a 3-person, 1-dog household is more pressure than I want.

It's just stress that's compounded lately. I still have to make it through the rest of this semester without cowering in a corner, eating my own hair, yelling at people to just go away and leave me alone. I've finished one research paper, but I still have one more paper, two final exams, a graded performance on a song I wrote, and a research project proposal that needs to be completely reworked. And all that has to be done by a week from tomorrow.

Don't even ask about the cleanliness of my house right now. It's awful.

I just have to make it through finals week, then the week after that is a meeting for my research project and there's holiday parties at work, yadda yadda yadda. I'm really looking forward to having almost two weeks off to do NOTHING. I plan to park my round rump on the couch in front of the television and knit, eat chocolate, and drink cocoa (or wine, depending on my mental state at that point) from December 23rd until January 5th.

Just a year and half of this craziness left and then I graduate. And go for my MA, which will probably kill me.